19 April 2010

Engagement Rings

If you're reading this, you in all likelihood have heard already that Heather and I got engaged this past week. We're really thrilled about this change, about moving forward with wedding planning, and about our life together!

A lot of folks have been curious about our decision to both wear engagement rings. Apparently this places us on a high rung of the egalitarianism ladder. Unlike many of the things we do in life, we actually weren't trying to make a big statement with this; it just seemed like the natural thing to do. The thought process went something like this:
  1. Whatever we get, we want it to be either recycled or conflict-free.
  2. We don't feel too compelled to get an engagement ring with a gemstone in it.
  3. Do we even want to mess with engagement rings? (Yes.)
  4. Why? (To be a visible sign of our engagement.)
  5. Then let's both wear something!
Eventually, I came across this design (above) by Beth Cyr, who is in Athens, Georgia. I guess they're probably designed to be wedding bands, but we needed a matching set of something interesting. The design has a single leaf, and is made of recycled silver. We're very pleased.

We've struggled a bit to explain why we both have engagement rings in a way that doesn't disparage couples who do things the traditional way. That's certainly not our intent. But I've been glad for the opportunity to spark a lot of conversations about marriage customs. My hope is that the most interesting question in people's minds might not be "Why would a man wear an engagement ring?" but, "Why not?"

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