Summer 2009

Now that I'm finally clear of all my term papers, I have a moment to update you on my summer plans. Through a Ministry Fellowship grant from FTE, I'll be spending my summer investigating models of congregational mission work. Specifically, my interest is in how to overcome the false division that exists in many churches, in which "mission" work is what we do to help others while discipleship and formation are the things we do to further our own spiritual journeys. In my own experience, and I think throughout much of Christian history (especially within Wesleyanism), works of mercy and engagement with the world have been integral to faith formation. I'm hoping this summer to dig into this idea a little more.

To that end, here's what I have lined up:

May 24-July 19, I'll be working as an intern at a Methodist church near Knoxville, TN.

June 5-15, Mission trip to Honduras with the church

July 9-11, Ekklesia Project conference, Chicago

July 22-August 5, Duke Divinity pilgrimage to northern Uganda

August 16-19, FTE Ministry Fellows gathering

Then it'll already be time to get underway with the Fall semester. I'm really looking forward to all of this, and hope to be posting reflections about ministry experiences (like last summer) as well as occasional snippets about my thinking regarding the role of missions in the local church. If you've got a good reading suggestion on that topic, I'm all ears.

Re: Young people; Let's assume Myspace is an analogy for everything they will ever do!

I talked to this AJC reporter for almost a full hour, and thought I said a lot of good things about why I'm not ready to give up on traditional church models or give in to consumer-based church models because I believe in resurrection, but that didn't really make it into the article. He also interviewed Sierra but didn't mention her in the article at all. He also thinks I am from Cobb County, Ga. So it goes.

AJC: Meet the next generation of Christian leaders

David Allen, 25, a Fund for Theological Education fellow at Duke University, recalls going to Washington with his church youth group from Cobb County. A tour took them past the marble halls of power, then it wended into some of D.C.'s poorest neighborhoods, to tattered streets where hope was wrung out long ago.

"That was jarring to me ... and this was three miles from the White House and Congress," Allen said.

It helped point him toward the pulpit. If he doesn't wake his future congregations up to broader social problems, he will consider his ministry less than successful, he said.

I wish the article weren't quite so soaked in this language of generational difference. I think the assumption is that our generation's church is going to be distinct in the same way as our generation's culture and society are unique. I could pick it up in the reporter's questions that the story would tell of young people ready to do church their way, which is an attitude I find highly problematic. This article actually made me feel less hopeful about the future of the mainline Protestant church in the U.S. "The church leaders of tomorrow: who knows what the hell they will do?"

AP story on FTE conference

I don't think the word "coax" appears in FTE's mission statement, but it does appear in the AP headline.

Ga. group aims to coax more seminarians to pulpit

Here's one of the photos they took. The back of my head is in the foreground.

The serious vocation post.

During last week's FTE Conference, I had a lot to mull over. Spending every hour with this group of seminarians yielded almost endless opportunities for hearing other people's stories and thoughts on ministry, and for having people listen to my own story and thoughts. It probably sounds lame to anyone reading this, but trust me when I say that it was a really fruitful and meaningful time for me. Ever since I finalized my decision to go to divinity school in December 2006, I have been in a sort of holding pattern in terms of my vocational discernment. Just getting myself into an M.Div. program was a major step, and I deserved a break from "figuring it out." Last week's conference injected some new energy into that exploration for me.

I feel confident now in saying that I have a calling to serve the church. There's just nothing I care about more, and no greater need that I can see. I'll be continuing to hash out what that means professionally, but it feels good to shed some of the contingency with which I have spoken about all this up until now.

One of the things I heard multiple times from friends at the conference last week was that I have gifts I need to claim or embrace, and that I'm more cautious, hesitant, or self-deprecating than I ought to be. That's a hard thing for me to adjust, because I really do strive for humility. But it reminds me of a poem by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, written a month before his execution. Not great poetry, but powerful nonetheless.

Who am I?

They often tell me I would step from my cell's confinement

calmly, cheerfully, firmly,

like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I?

They often tell me I would talk to my warden

freely and friendly and clearly,

as though it were mine to command.

Who am I?

They also tell me I would bear the days of misfortune

equably, smilingly, proudly,

like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of,

or am I only what I know of myself,

restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,

struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat,

yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,

thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,

trembling with anger at despotisms and petty humiliation,

tossing in expectation of great events,

powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,

weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,

faint and ready to say farewell to it all.

Who am I? This or the other?

Am I one person today, and tomorrow another?

Am I both at once?

A hypocrite before others, and before myself

a contemptibly woebegone weakling?

Or is something within me still like a beaten army,

fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.

Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine.

Back online

Just returned tonight from Atlanta, where I was for the past week. I was at the 2008 Ministry Conference of The Fund for Theological Education. I have been fortunate enough to receive a fellowship from these folks, and this conference was the first step of what I expect to be a really wonderful relationship with them over the next year. The Fund is supported primarily by the Lilly Endowment, and their aim is to support and equip young people for church leadership.

The best part of the conference was the new friends I met from all over: the conservative Lutheran from Canada, the Catholic-turned-Unitarian from Denver, the women who had moved from (or remained in) denominations that would not ordain them. And my roommate, who was an undergrad at Howard while I was living a mile away in Columbia Heights.

I did a lot of thinking and writing while at the conference, and so the experience may yield a couple posts here during the week. I also did an interview with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, but I'm not sure if/when that story might run. We'll see.

For the record, past FTE Fellows of note include: James Forbes, Michael Battle, L. Gregory Jones, Walter Brueggemann, Frederick Buechner, Robert Franklin, Peter Gomes, Jesse Jackson, and Jeremiah Wright. There are also lots of female alums who I'm sure are very distinguished, but I didn't recognize their names.